Made to love

I think I love you. Once I was in love but you but this faded after the discussions, the tears and the time. However, this proclaimed and never corresponded love still exists. I loved you the first time in bed, during the mornings where I loved you so much I wanted to kill you. Then I loved you at night, as the shadows moved and proximity reduced, as the lights would hit our faces and your shiny hair would reflect the moonlight. I also loved you when you were away because that was the time I felt you the closest. That was the time I realised I was a lost and almost jumped to the river. I loved you after your return, when your shattered eyes looked at mine and there was nothing else but hope and the nights were shorter and time seemed like an anguishing monster. And then things happened, we looked away, we were others, we didn´t want to be us and then suddenly never existed. We erased the paths from the maps and our feet forgot how to dance, how to cook for two. I was away for some time and you were present but not in my life. TIme passed by, passed me by. I think I love you even when thoughts have vanished from my mind and there is no hope in the look and at night we do not share sheets and our feet have learnt to dance new tunes. I love you like a burdain that makes me better, like there is some faith in humanity, like everything will be fine and then I stand here, incapable of telling you I love and I have chosen to love you because I have chosen you. Out of millions I decided to love you and now I am here, standing, listening to you, thinking what am I supposed to do with this love. This inconditional, stubborn, giving and caring love that feels like it is dripping and leaking from my bones. I love you so much sometimes I wonder if you cannot see it and wish I could hit you on the head with a plastic hammer while I ask: can't we see we're made to love each other?

File recovered from January, 2014